My Mom, The Confidence Builder

Today I was straitening my hair, and when I do this, I like to section my hair, so part of my hair goes into a pony tail on the top of my head......

well I walk downstairs with this half down, very top of my head bun... and my mom looks shocked....

Mom: Are you going out like that?

Jess: Like what? (thinking my clothes) Yeah, what wrong with it?

Mom: No Your hair!

Jess: I am straitening my hair

Mom: Oh okay good.... I was worried you thought that was a cute hairstyle, and you were going to leave this house with it... and no one would talk to you ... and you would come home crying and I would have to talk to you and tell you you are a beautiful person.

Jess: ..... Thanks mom.

The sink sounds like it's yelling at me!

One day someone will love quotes like this...

Creative Birthday messages

I gave my mom a birthday Card this week, and i gave her the best message I knew.

Mom for your Birthday, I am going to get your name tattooed on my Ass

so you can finally be a pain in my ass... well you were before but this time we can make it official..
Love Jessica

she loved it! Took it to work.

Second time!

I got cock blocked AGAIN! (Twat blocked) and by like 4 people this time.........



Not impressed.

advice I give concerning dating

I think I should right a dating guide.... I give excellent advice

Today I told a friend to go to a party that the guy she is in to, is at. Drink a bit, then kiss him. B/c if it works... you are sober... but if he turns you down you can play it off as you were sooooo wasted......

this is actual advice i give people. I would do this to. I actually planned once to do this... but on the two occasions the other guy didn't come, and i wasn't ever alone with him......

So dating rule 1. Always be "drunk". Keep a flask filled with water in your backpack, encase the opportunity arises for him to see you pour that clear liquid into your morning cup of Joe, and you can make your move by lunch.*

I am glad we cleared this up.



* this is advice coming from a girl who has had one serious relationship.

Halloween '09

So this was the idea:

Lady Gaga and her balloon dress!

The finished product:

Well this costume was a hit.... moving around was troublesome but it will definitely be a night to remember. I made many friends on transit, took pictures with complete strangers and had many balloons popped. GREAT FUN!

Congrats Males of Canada

Rating male lover by country

*note this is not my list.... I found this on the Internet... seriously


World’s Best Lovers
1. Spain
2. Brazil
3. Italy
4. France
5. Ireland
6. South Africa
7. Australia
8. New Zealand
9. Denmark
10. Canada

Way to go Canada! Gold star.

oh and I feel this needs to be said

Today I met a boy that is a non British, less cute version of Rupert Grint.

I was dragged into helping a friend with her biology lab, she needed a Guinea Pig, and I said yes, after much deliberation. Well I had to get up early, I charged my Ipod, stocked it full of Mugglecast and South park, to keep me entertained so that I do not annoy Jena........ W arrive I sit down, Jena sets up her microscope and in walks Rupert. Oh I have decided to call him that for I do not know his name. Jena, we need to work on that. Well, I stared, and I think only Melanie has seen how I stare wide eyed and mouth opened when I oggle men. So Melanie..... I was doing that again. I tried to listen to my Podular but I felt Jena needed to know this kid sitting across from her and one person away from me, is a look alike of my true love. This was clearly more important than her lab. so how did I do it....

The high school way of course! I wrote Jena a note and slipped it to her. She informed me, that she noticed when he walked in... and was just waiting for me to say something..... Am I really that easy?...... To read.... Oh no not that way...... ummm....

So I decided to befriend Rupert. So that Jena will have friends in her lab... but more for my own selfish needs. Sooooo I think it went quite well.... and it can only go down hill from there, when he tells me his name is not in fact Rupert, this will be disappointing. and the fact.... I will never see him again.... for he is at Dougie, and is present during labs ....... and I am in neither. Oh well Rupert, It was awkward while it lasted.


Sorry for the drool!

Georgia on my mind

Thanks to all that came out to the show!. and to my number one fan who came twice......

also to my Bp Gang members, it was awesome to see you, and Lindsay... thanks for the biggest hug I have ever had. I hope I made you proud!

Sorry Gangsta!

Sorry!

and this is for me.

Angry Face

I am very pleased to be in Oaks. I am proud of myself. I took a chance to do something that scares the shit out of me, being vulnerable. and the show has been well received which is pleasing

I feel a lot of anger right now towards people, I don't know if this is genuine anger, or if I am affect by what happened tonight, or if I didn't hunker completely and am still carrying around my character.

I feel let down by people who have declined my show, and haven't given me a reason. I guess this is childish. but these people mean a lot to me, we go way back, and i worry there friendships have been swayed b/c of circumstances that I guess I am not giving my full attention b/c I am trying to dedicate myself to this crazy masochistic career I have chosen. I feel horrible.

After the Oaks incident today, I went home an cried. I don't know why. I wasn't involved, but this voiced opinion got out of hand. I am so thankful I never opened my mouth, everything just snowballed. I cried for Fiona. So those from Douglas reading this: show up! Support us please!

For the first time in a year, I wish someone was here, and was holding my hand, allowing me to cry on them, let out all my frustration, anger, insecurities, heartache. They would let me yell at myself for I am angry, I am confused as to why I do what I do. I want something, and I don't know how to break through this stupid fucking wall I have put up to stop myself from reaching it. I am scared that everyone else will get there before me, and I feel I am falling behind, because they have there lives, relationships, careers, homes, and/or money figured out and I am stuck. Scared shitless, of life and failure. I want truth, but feel people don't give it to me.

I want to know honestly what you thought of me, what you thought of the show. If I sucked, tell me. How can I learn? How can I grow? How can I let go?

My mom , and Laura seemed really proud of me for my performance and I thank you. Right now remembering Laura saying I was amazing makes me teary eyed. and the hug, and saying you cried. Ah, that is why I love you and invite you. You show up, and are so proud to see me.

sorry guys I needed a little sad post

P.S. I like hugs. So if you are happy to see me, or are proud, or need me. Give me a real hug, and I will hugg you back! I just want to feel wanted and loved right now.

Will I learn? Only time can tell

So Friday I decided to go for brunch and then head to Kits beach.

I am going to Tarantino this story, by giving you the ending and then move to the beginning. Ready!

You may say this isn't bad... WELL its had a day to de-red-ify..... and my lower half is worse. I don't have enough confidence to put a picture of my butt on the Internet. Sorry. So pretty much if you never wanted to imagine me slightly unclothed... sorry for this and for those who have/do.... Sorry I have now crushed your images....

so i am Tarantino-ing this shit.

"Oh, it is lovely out here, But see I am fully dressed, Jessica, we should keep our clothes on"

Nooooo. I need to be free!" and I want to say I was the only one in my bathing suit on the beach for a bit. Everyone was in clothes. I frolicked.

Laura got slightly undressed



POSE!!!!!

Laura left and I decided to stick around and gave Jena a call to join me. I knew while I was waiting that I was burning, but I felt to relaxed to do anything about it.

Let me give you the aftermath again

Being Unemployed Takes A Lot of Work.

Sonnet #1

Direction write a sonnet about someone you love.

Thought: I don't love. I know that sounds horrible but I am thinking it is true. I lust, I like. I Platonicly love, maybe? I love my parents, and my close friends, but I can't describe those feelings..... it just a strong feeling towards them...... that I associate with love. So I don't won't to write a poem about my mom.... That would not go so well. My dog? No. My best friend? No that might be taken strangely, and i will have to put up with the lesbian rumours again. So Kim and I made a list of what I love/ how I love, here it is:

Rupert Grint
Clothes
Shopping/sales associates
Food
My dog
Harry Potter
Mr. Right Now

b/c I can't handle love we chose Mr. Right Now. So we made a funny poem, about crushes, and then it turns into the speaker being turned off by the right now guy. I don't know who this reminds you of,.... but its not me..... I swear.. It's not taken from my life. Then Sunday night my teacher says he hopes we are taking the topic seriously he wants our heart and souls..... Sheeeeeeett. My poems is funny and makes fun of me... and not love.... uh oh.



New poem. Love taken seriously. I don't know if I can love, or even if I believe in it anymore. I believe in lust and liking but love, devoted love. I thought long and hard.. "that's what she said" I decided to share the closest thing I have felt to love in a year and a half. Started out as an idea to seriously talk about mine and Rupert Grints relationship, but it become more personal..

Response:

Sonnet #1
To hold the truth, I hope to be your girl.
A villain made when Dawn makes Dreaming break.
In my bare hands I wish your soul to whirl;
A blissful darkness, Lighted well you make.
Mine mind is where we have died together
And silhouettes of foe lay discontent.
My star shine gleam in your heart forever.
Release my heart, seeing concrete torment;
A blistered Heart of pain and woe and death,
Has passion stowed, with love it lies in waste.
Allow frost to fall from your sweetest breath
So I recall the loving mourning taste.
Embrace vast barricades between our corpse
Evermore my heart beats the code of Morse.



uhhh this is awkward..............

Yeah, I am Eating Olives for Breakfast. Jealous?

Panic is setting in. This is the first time in my life that I can remember not having a plan. I thrive from having a Schedule. I need it to feel secure and without it I feel like a failure.

I am starting to panic about my life choices, which is resulting in crazy shoulder and neck tension. I feel I have made big mistakes, yet I don't want to settle. I worry about things that I shouldn't. I should be enjoying my youth and should be carefree, instead I get stomach pains from worry, and head aches from over thinking.

Do I risk a friendship? or Two?

I want to look into the future, see whom and what is my future, and then let go of all my worries and live live knowing that everything is going to be okay.

I had a great talk with Fiona yesterday before sitting in on the Lovestruck Rehearsals. I told her my insecurities with my Monday classes, and that I think I need to do something about my anxiety and panic attacks. Schedules, and regularity is good for us because when you come from a family that is unstable, you crave this security. which is why I look forward to regular play practice, and weekly set hangouts.

Last night on my way home from the LoveStruck auditions, I heard these two people using a horrible fake British accent. The guy was alright, but the girl...... oh my god. Horrible. She was standard 1880's British then some Australian, oh did I just hear a pinch of New Zealand. oh.... was that suppose to be cockney. AND PEOPLE FELL FOR IT. So many people kept asking these young kids (I am now legal to the whole world, so I consider anyone younger, a kid) where they were from. They said London, and they are here for theatre school. I burst out laughing. Everyone on the platform looked at me. So this continued on my way home. I couldn't stop laughing, at one point the accents got so bad I laughed and choke on my own saliva. Had a coughing fit. Embarrassing, but not as embarrassed as I was going to make those two kids.

I texted a friend and told him to call me and I was going to do an accent and just go along with it. So the moment I picked up my phone, I put on a good British accent. Faint, and not over emphasized. The look on those kids faces was priceless. I smiled at them, and they refuse to speak for the rest of the ride. On my way out, I turned and smiled sweetly and right before walking of onto the platform I said

"Nice try" in my accent

Oh there faces and the faces on the stranger on the train. AHHH so good. Man I am a bitch. but it was so much fun.

And yes I realize I am no better than them, but if you are going to pretend to be British or from somewhere else. LEARN THE PROPER ACCENT.

This goes out to my BP peeps!

Today I was doing some Yoga, and was balancing on a ball. My butt was flat on the ball, my upper body, on the ground, and my legs in the air. You will never guess what happened.

The ball popped!

It really hurt. I had to ice my rump for the rest of the day. It was really awkward.

Especially b/c most of the class was 40 and over and they didn't pop the ball.

Really?

I just realized today that I might have bitten off more than I can chew. Looking at my upcoming schedule, I won't have time for a social life. well at least at night.


Here is my young life being attacked



Monday's I will be at class all day. The morning consists of me pouring my heart until I am emotionally drained, returning after lunch to do a scene about pregnancy, abortion and rape for a few hours, then returning from dinner and rehearsing "blood blood, omg I killed the king, and the blood won't come off my god damned hand. Shit shit, Blood, Come you spirits get this bloooooodd off my hands" .... but in better words with the help of Mr. Bill Shakespeare.

Tuesday- Sunday: Well, come mid-October I will be split between Christmas Carol, and LoveStruck at night and possibly during the day on weekends.


I will have no life. I guess I do need to make friends in these groups of people, for they will be the ones I will see regularly till December...... even January. For those that don't know, since last Monday I was fully embracing " I don't want to make friends". Guess I do need to.


I have days free so far.... But I need to find a part time job.... I guess. Those who have Tuesdays-Fridays free during the day...... We need to talk, I might be able to see you.


I am very nervous for class tomorrow. I think I am a lot older than most kids in the class..... What if I suck.... What if all the kids in the class that just got out of high school, are way better than me........... and they give me wedgies, and beat me up and steal my milk money.... This is a really scary thing.





The next two pictures pretty much summarize me and what is going to happen at school tomorrow and for the rest of my life! I am not being over-dramatic!

Yeah, notice the age difference.... this is how those punks are going to see me.

I don't know whether being good at outburst is considered a talent

Well I won my first game at the third Game Group Meeting. I am happy the old gang is back together. Wish we could meet up more often. Tear....

Had excellent girl talk with Jena on the way home. Wish we could have continued it.

I need to watch what I eat....... I may become a fattie soon.

I have Sunday free biotches. ohhhhh I don't need to go to practice. What What!

Shakespeare you effing scare me.

I worry that I am a bitch, and I only think I am a good person. I don't want to hurt people, and I am worried to follow/ take my impulses, instead I over think things in my head.

I want to move out. I can't handle my mother any more

I love dogs

I realized I have have a weird all over the map TV liking. Shows I currently Love/PVR
Buffy
Americas next top model. Am rooting for Nicole? the red head who is quiet. She is like me.
Police Women of Broward County: I love listening to people try to convince the cops that wind blew that baggie of pot into their bra. I was convinced, I would make a horrible cop.
So you think you can dance.... and Canada: but the women on SYTYCD Canada are not amazing.
Toddlers and Tiaras: Makes me feel i will not ruin my future daughter(Rocket Winter Grint)'s life.
Being Erica: You make me feel I can screw up my life and Dr.? will allow me to fix it and find true love. Thank you
Glee: Show Choir Groups..... I love music and singing, with dramatic arm reaches and put them together its ecstasy.
The office
Extras
Say Yes to the Dress: Okay not for my wedding, but I have a love/hate thing for bridezillas, and girls who spend 10 grand on a dress you wear for 9 hours.............. that is a down payment on a place to live.

I am probably forgetting some, but this is what is in my PVR.

picture me as a naked baby, but doing jazz hands

Well, this happened in practice last night....

Mike was telling Fiona how he knows the gist of his monologue
"there is a light celestial... uh and then a naked baby"
and the naked baby is my character in a memory... well I was a little tired and decided to make a creepy face and bring out the jazz hands to represent a naked baby.....

This didn't get the reaction I thought it would...I was more laughed at.

I love Glee. Anything that slightly resembles a musical makes my knees go weak. I love the kid in the wheelchair.

My new goal in life is to have a singing voice like lea who is the lead female in Glee. Amazing.

Top Songs from Glee..
1: Don't stop believing
2:Gold digger
3: Rehab
additional fav. sit down your rocking the boat......best line ever
"you have a kid in a wheelchair singing "Sit down, your rocking the boat"
"I think he is going for Irony"

I don't want to make friends

Advanced SHAKESPEARE. Yes while typing that, I did an accent. Tuesday's 6-9
Film and TV ------ Monday's 2-5...... This is still a maybe for me.


Am excited. Feel this was a good decision


Felt unbelievable judged at the Potluck. When Becca and I came up those stairs all the girls glared at us. I have never been given the stink eye so much. Why can't we all just be friends, really?

what a Day! Tomorrow with Photos

I make myself laugh......

you will see

Who knew Nursing Asistants could be so cool?

Today I hung out with my Mom's coworkers. They are all over 50 but have known me since the day I was born.

We discussed London, my Mom, My friends.

We had a very strange chat with many sexual innuendos comparing handshakes and this certain man weak one...... I would never have this convo with my mom.

They were also very interested about my love life. and gave me much advice. I Love middle aged women

And one of those women married her high school sweetheart...... Kim... that could be you... sort of.......

I told them I wanted a Russian revolution themed wedding. They didn't get it. Oh well...

Girly Days

A bird violently pooped at Kim.

I know...how dare she

Pez Talk

Melanie brought me a Snow White Pez. I am currently eating the pez. I love Pez Candy!

During our discussion I think I completely ruined my innocent image. Oh well.

Thats what she said...

Today while waiting for my bus, I ran into a friend we talked for a bit and then my bus came and I needed to catch it, but I lost my train of thought have way through excusing myself and I made things awkward

*Please excuse my attempt at English, it was 6:30 in the morning. What i meant to say was I need to head off to catch my bus...... I said

"Well, I better be getting head.... " (I forgot to add the 'ing' to head)

I will never forget the look he gave me after I said this.... It is embedded in my mind.



Plans for my week
Monday: Live through it
Tuesday Start House sitting. Goal: Do not kill the cat
Wednesday: Do not let the cat escape
Thursday:Pedi....cures..not files.
Friday: Rehearsal mOTHER f-ERS
Saturday: Tea? Possibly? 90's party. Still debating whether I should dress up. I really just want to wear my green body suit, but that for some reason doesn't scream 90's. The only other option is Spice Girl.... but I have a feeling if I go in that direction I might flash guests by mistake.
Sunday: No f-ing clue
Monday: Breakfast and Swimming. Even if it is freezing, I am jumping in that ocean. I didn't get in enough swimming time this year.

A conversation from Lindsay and I

From: Lindsay Sent: August 17, 2009 10:23 AMTo: Jessica Subject: tomorrow

Hey,

Is there anyway that you would swift shifts tomorrow? I have a doctors appointment at 9 in ladner.

From: Jessica Sent: August 17, 2009 10:24 AMTo: Lindsay Subject: RE: tomorrow

No Problem Mo FO

From: Lindsay

Thanks gangster

From Jessica

NO Prob L-Thug




We are the coolest Gangsters this side of the river. and dare I say both sides.

I Will Dominate

I love Risk.

I have never lost a game. I love risk so much I once hit someone really really hard when they attacked me. But I still won.

I played last night and almost got decimated... but then in one turn i wiped out all the competition.

Why am I so talented at Risk?

I think it might be that I actually believe if I don't win, I will be sold as a slave, be forced to become a gladiator, or be forced into prostitution. I realize that this won't happen, but when that dice rolls, I start sweating, and I become a slightly taller version of Napoleon Bonaparte.

I also want to try this:

Really!

I think I got Cock Blocked... or is it Twat blocking.....

Potem Toles, Puma's and Bears with Lasers. Oh My!

I am a busy girl. Every night this week I have or have had something going on. So yesterday was suppose to be my go to bed early night. Oh no.

A friend calls and tells me " tonight there are to be many shooting star, we are going to go star gazing"

To me the idea of lying under the stars under blankets freezing with friends, is a no brainer. I stayed out till 12:30. good fun. I realized though with my lack of sleep, my speech has suffered thus the running joke of them "potem toles". I meant totem poles, guys.

While Jena was taking pictures, Matt and I huddled for warmth, until I swear the bush by use moved, we both backed away and left Jena to defend us.

With the original movie night group having only three original members remaining in Canada, I got to thinking which Harry Potter Characters would we be.....

Jena is Harry Potter, for she is much braver than Matt and I could ever be...combined...
Matt is Hermione, for he is a smarty pants and likes to correct my words. ex. Potem toles
Me, I am Ron, fine by me. I think b/c I am stubborn. It just fits.

I enjoy singing with Lindsay.
We sand "Whats New Pussy Cat" Many a time together today. I will now shed a tear. Not really. But I will in my head

I would make a fierce ninja

So I needed to make Lindsay laugh.

I go to do a ninja chop from far away.

I guess i but a little to much energy into it, and pop crack...

a numb feeling. I think I threw my shoulder out. Lindsay had a good laugh.

Cold Showers bring..I would rather stay dirty for a week.

Last night I decided I wanted to die my hair a shade or two darker for head shots. While waiting the specified time for the hair dye, I went downstairs to grab some left overs.........

I hear this hiss, and rushing water sound... Our hot water tank was leaking and our basement was soaked...

So we had take out the hot water tank and empty it...

all while the dye is still in my hair. Oh Crap! I need to get it out.... But we had to turn off all the water due to my dad busting a pipe when he was removing the hot water tank....

so what do I do.

Not wanting to get hair dye in any of my neighbours houses, I decided to use the house at the side of the house to wash my hair. Worst experience ever! Neighbours walked by and saw this and laughed. BUT I HAD TO GET THE HAIR DYE OUT. I ended up soaking my back in freezing cold water do to the weird angle I had to hold my body at to wash said hair. Oh the pains of being female.

Oh,I have nothing on..but the radio!

Gemini (May 21-June 20)
The planet Mars (the Roman God of war) is associated with aggressive action, competitiveness, strong energy and physical activity. It's also highly sexual. Va, va, va, voom! When it's in your sign, it increases your confidence and makes you much more of a fighter for your rights than usual. It gives you lots of physical energy, and turns you on! ("Why don't you come over some time when I've got nothing on but the radio.") You can work long hard hours and accomplish a lot. Basically it's very positive. Nevertheless, too much of a good thing (can be wonderful according to Mae West) can make you aggressive or threatening in the eyes of others, especially authority figures. Just be aware of this. "Down Chita! Down!"
Cancer (June 21-July 22

Nice!!!!!!!!

Who send emails like this?

My mom does

it was a question she could not work out with my father so she emailed me.

Do you want your Father or me to pick you up tonight? (thats all that was in the email)

....


.......

..

I don't give a fuck.

Self Esteem down 500 points

I went to Robyn's for dinner and a movie tonight.

After Dinner her dad said I had Chicken Legs............

Is there anything less sexy than Chicken Legs?

What is happening?

I think I want a cuddle........ This is strange

Maybe your Mom can call my Mom, and set up a date?

Two boys came in again selling chocolate almonds. Last time they came I sent an email around and people bought chocolate, I also gave them mints and Drinks while they waited.

So if I was still 12 and being forced during my summer vacation to be a good person, I would hit up Boston Pizza, and look for me.

Well this time no one bought anything. Sorry Boyz!

I offered them some mints and gave them two Iced Teas

As the elevator doors were closing, One of the boys sticks his head around and yells

" My friend has a crush on you. He looooovess you"

and the other boy

" Shut up, you aren't suppose to tell her"

I am glad to see I make 12 year old boys hearts go pitter patter.

Sitting on a Roof at SFU, Drinking Tea

I have decided that I want to give my future children really strange names, so that I can get enjoyment out of it. So far I have chosen one name that can be either for a boy or girl.

Rocket Grint.

Please notice that last name attached, Better start working on getting into Hollywood soon, if I want my children to have that last name.

Laura thought this was a bad idea if I have a girl. I see her point....

But if I have a boy I can sing Rocket Man to him........I like that.

Laura and I tried seducing everyone on Burnaby Mountain with our flexibility, and we worked on my seduction skills. Tres Magic!

I had the urge to roll down the hill....... I couldn't stop.Once out of log positions i kept tumbling my feet went over my head and my limbs were going in every direction.

Laura Attempted Handstands, and then we decided to write smutty romance/porn. I see a hit on our hands.........

An Awkward Moment
I have a horrible time deciphering when a guy is into me, everything goes over my head. So While buying our tea, there were these two guys looking at us and smiling. Not sure if Laura noticed, but I figure since they kept looking at us, they knew Laura....... then I made eye contact and one the guys winked.... I have this weird thing with winking, I find it creepy! It takes me a moment to realize its a wink, I usually think the person has something in their eye or they have a twitch..... Winking is not a cute thing to me. I prefer looks and eye contacts and smiles giving across the room...... Not winks... I feel dirty after winks.... Like I need to go pray to Blanket to take away my sins (Shout out to Laura)

That's it really........

A Greeting

I greeted someone with The Doorknob.

The Doorknob:
When the other person goes for a fist bump, you grab their bump, in you hand and turn the fist like a door knob. A formal greeting.

A Mass of Awesome

So Many Awesomeness took place this weekend that I can't remember all the details. So I am asking the people involved to help me patch together the highlights.

Monday was great!!!! Kim came over and after deciding she should wear The Betsy to Zack's Sisters Wedding, we organized my books. I ask that if ever coming to visit me, stop by my house and bring me some books, I will inform the parents. Once that was accomplished, I realized my anxiety about London and finding a place to live, Kim decided we needed to start drinking. At 2pm. On Canada. Isn't great that we can buy a bottle of cheap wine and a box of Popsicles without judgement. I Love You Canada. We ate some Popsicles on the way back home. The Hill Killed us..... We were panting by the end of it.

Ate some more Popsicles, and finished our bottle of wine before dinner....hmmmm. slightly problematic. We raided my dads liquor cabinet looking for Gin to make the ever classy Gin and Tonic. Feeling tipsy we decided a trek to the Corner Store to by Tonic was a great idea. You know what? They don't sell tonic! So we improvised with Ginger Ale. So we sipped our G and G's, and discussed anything and Everything. I like Kim, she is swell. Shout out to Kim!

Manly discussed our futures.
The "fake" kidnapping Bachelorette party my angry pregnancy's
my monster children my mom
my dad Kim's sister
moving out Jobs
My ideas on marriage and children that will crush my mother
Traveling Going to Paris
True Loves My guy ADD
My strange I start out in love and then my feelings fade as the other person's grow...... It's horrible.

Its all good.

My mom skyped me last night at 11:30 b/c she wanted to say night! I was asleep and was awoken by my dads computer. I was a grumpy pants and hung up.

me: (softly and confused) Hello?
Mom: HHHHHiiiiiii Jeeesss, It's mom
Me: Wha..what..Its ..I was sleeping
Dad: She wanted to say goodnight... (to my mom) Marilyn I told you she would be in bed
Mom: Jess/.....JESSS. Can you hear me?
Me: I was sleeping
Mom: I wanted to say...

I hung up. I am a grumpy pants when I deal with my mother. I will miss her..........maybe after three months. But then I have her for Christmas, and she is going to be clingier than saran wrap....and everyone knows how I handle cling.

Just Listen for Water

Yesterday was one of those days that has me asking why am I leaving? But then I realize oh yeah I wasn't happy here, but I guess it is good that I am starting to see that Vancouver is pretty, I do have friends I enjoy, and there are still guys from here that I find irresistible.



Yesterday I was to attend a pool party, something I was worried about due to me being antisocial and awkward. Plus... Have not mentally and Physically prepared for bathing suit season.



Well we transit to David's and are looking for his place and can't seem to find it. So best bet...just pick a direction and go. Finally got a hold of David and got his directions. My personal favourite direction was turn right at the dumpster. And Kim heard this and pointed out every dumpster we saw. I said lets just listen for water. See my logic for this is where there is water there is a large mass of people laughing and splashing, hence we will hear the pool party.



We found it! B/c I am awesome with directions.....Landmarks not streets. So if ever giving me directions, make them like this:



Turn right by the yellow telephone booth, and then keep walking until you see this House that looks like its haunted then go around it and Find the fullest dumpster crawl under that and find the cliff that looks like an eyebrow, and i will meet you there.



That's how I rock!

Boys are awesome, I like Boys. I like the people I am still in touch with from Highschool.

Highlights:

Kim swimming


Discussion of Talented actors and sexy males with Joe, and him constantly asking me if I like Brad Pitt.WHAT WHAT Seth Rogan

Star Trek Fan Video

Discussion of Lysistrata

People saying I am cute! (personality and hopefully looks wise)

and that is all I feel safe to discuss



I think it was a pretty good night. Got home late but I am feeling good today.

An email from my mother

Background: My parents are going up to Penticton for a week and my father bought a small storage trailer to attach to his car. My mom thinks this is unsafe and is not happy when he decides to take it with them for it's maiden voyage

This is the email I just received from her....


Hi Jess

Just to let you know that we have not left yet and do not know when we will. Dad is packing up the trailer and is taking it up to Pentiction. So, hopefully we will make it up there safely. If anything happens to us, please sell the house or if not there is a line on it that needs to be taken care of asap so you do not loose too much money. You will need a lawyer for this.

Love Mom


I still have laughter tears in my eyes from it

Its a Monday!

So Good News

I think I have my work visa, but I am not 100% accepted yet for I don't have it in my hand.

Today I went to the Visa Office to get my finger prints scanned and another photo taken. They now have three photos of me. I think they like my face. It seems a little excessive if they aren't going to place pictures of my solemn no smiling passport like pose on their desks and coffee mugs, don't you think?

When I was filing out my application form for the work visa there was about 20 questions asking if I was in anyways involved with a terrorist group. This can easily be asked in one question, but to make sure that you aren't lying to them they ask an extra 19 times, just rewording it, hoping to trick you into divulging your truth. Well luckily I was never part of a terrorist group, that I know of; in grade 10 I was a part of a writing club and we secretly wanted to take down the leaders, and just play mafia. I think that is as far anti-establishment I got. Anyways I found Myself wanting to ask my interviewer if she has ever come across anyone that has checked yes to those questions, but decided against it when I told her what my unique middle name means, she didn't find it funny. Hey, she asked, I figure I should tell her.

I got to work early, I took a half day, so I wasted about and hour bothering Lindsay, and then decided I should help her with her assignment. We had a great time considering how boring a job it was.

On the weekend my mother decided to give me a talk about one night stands when I am in London. It was extremely awkward. To convince my mother I am not like that I said quickly with out thinking

"I don't get girls who have one night stands"
"what do you mean, you don't get girls?"
"oh, um, i mean I don't understand girls who do that"
"oh OK, cause I am in no hurry to be a grandmother"
"Oh yeah well, me neither. to be a mom ...not a grandmother. ....I'm an old fashioned girl .....except I don't like touching... and affection... and I don't want to be treated like a princess ..... so really i guess I am not old fashioned....ummm I just... well really mom I don't like touching so there is no need to worry"

It was extremely awkward, and not even funny awkward I think.

Today while heading to my appointment I saw a balding, middle aged fat man reading Twilight. I laughed out loud when I saw this. I am proud to saw I will NEVER read the books.

My last day at work is now August 21st.

I am very Excited

Tonight I am attending an early screening of Julie and Julia with my cuz. Shall be fun!

Today is a Sad Day in the Life of Jess

My Ipod gave up on life today.

I guess it didn't want me to go to england too.

Does Apple want to give me a New Ipod. It is for a good cause, my sanity.

I swear..

Thing will be my Only Angry post. ever. Hopefully


Here we go.

Some people are stupid, not laughable funny post stupid, but an immature, childish and loves gossip and drama Stupid. I hope people my age will be classier in England.

I now believe the statistic that men actually do gossip more than women. They just don't think they do.

Disclaimer: This comment excludes those people who are more than 3 years older than me, and most of my Drama friends, and Kim. You guys Keep being you. Those of you who don't fall in this category, and are thinking...jeez I wondering if this applies to me, it might not but for your own good, and for those it does apply to, GROW UP.

Three weeks left of work!

I Have decided, thanks to lindsay, to change signature thing......

But only for her ...so far

I think I must get high while I sleep

I am allergic to Mosquitoes, I swell when I get bitten...It is not pretty.

Well Now that you know my Kryptonite, let me tell you this

I have 9 bites on my entire body!

I am a giant walking mass of itch! 3 of them are on my ass, and i have trouble not want to scratch......for obvious reasons.


I think I must sleepwalk or something because I do strange things while I sleep.... This morning I awoke naked and on top of a made bed. And I clearly remember wearing clothes to bed, and sleeping under the covers....but some how in the middle of the night my covers were made like they were a hotel bed. I slightly remember my thought process of my clothes though.

I think it went like this

JEEZ it is too noisy to wear a shirt ..... (it was actually my dog making the noise..not my shirt) so the shirt comes off
then a bit later ....
MAN Pants are not freeing, they try to keep me chained down, I will rebel. and they came off

BUT ....

I do not know why the bed was made.....


Also sometime during that time I thought it a good idea to make ice tea......... I remember this happened about 2 in the morning.


Why am I suck a Freak.....

Death is like sex in high school. If you knew how many times you missed having it, you'd be paralyzed.

"Yuck! This juice tastes like ass, here you try it!"

"No, thanks. I'm trying to stay off of the ass juice for now."


Oh Dead like me! I love you. Going to refinish the 1st season tonight. I love it. I still think the second season is my fav, but so far from my memory Here are my fav episode...
1) The pilot...Sooo goood, I always tear up when they play Que Sera Sera at the end. Tear.
2) Masons "Last" Reap. I cry at the one too
3)Betty (the Jumper) 's Big escape
4)The Aftermath of George loosing her virginity, and Dolores coming to her rescue
5)Mason and the illegals in his bottom
6)The Office romance of GEOrge


Had a great saturday: Drinking with one of my Favorite Girlies. Good Mojitos, Good talk, Good Weather.

Parents come back Thursday.... then I take off. So July 14th or 15th is the Big Talk. Scared!

BR's and Harry Potter Audio Books

Weeks to London: 10
Weeks to end of Job: 5
Progress Of Work Visa: Waiting.


I had my first moment of intense sadness for leaving today, and it came at the weirdest time.

Lindsay made a joke about how Angela would win in a fight between me and her b/c Angela is intense and I couldn't stop laughing at the image, I started walking back to my desk, and then BOOM I teared up and a lump formed in my throat and I was like.... I won't see Lindsay or Angela for two years.............

I quickly swallowed my sadness and returned. But I know come September I am going to be an emotional wreck, saying goodbye.

People I can't think about when I plan London otherwise I tear up: IT and Angela and Lindsay from Work, Kim, My parents, My Cousin and her Husband, My Dog, Laura Stagg.

I will Miss many others but these people I see regularly and have history with. I see work people everyday, going to be a change, I love my family, Laura Stagg makes me laugh like no other (Oh the dolphin), and Kim just moved back for good, and now I am leaving.

But I know if i don't do it I will be kicking myself.

Also I have started having dreams of me telling my Parents and they haven't gone well. Last night I had 4 different versions. None Happy

I painted my finger Nails an extremely neon shade of Yellow

Excited for Girls hang out Tomorrow
Extremely excited for Saturday and cheap girly drinks avec Kim

British word of the Day: Aerial
TV Antenna

It's been awhile

I went on Vacation..... well not really, i just didn't want to sit at a computer during my time off.

Todays moment of Laughter was with angela

We were at a red light in her car and the person infront of us was about one car lengths away from the car infront of him, so clearly he wasn't triggering the light. Finally he moves up... and as we get through the light, he zooms off. Well at this point Angela and I started saying dirty drving ..actually more like yelling it and pointing fingers...and in accents. We drove by him and I decided action must be taken. I din't roll down the window, so he couldn't hear me, but I pointed and said " DIRTY, DIRTY DRIVER" he didn't notic though.......but angela laughed. And thats all that matters.

lets see what else is new

I started sewing again. so far the count is
Dresses:2
Skirts:1
Shirts:2

I am thoroughly enjoying the quiet time with my sewing.

Ummm I am moving to London. Yup. It's pretty much Official. Just waiting for my Work visa to come through. I am scared poopless (I don't know if I can swear on Blogger), but I am excited as well.

Things I need to figure out In two months.

A job. I have a lifestyle of spending... I would like to continue this in London, but have a feeling I won't be able to. My Ideas so far
-See if they have agencies for Extra's. Could be fun. I want to be in Harry Potter and
meet Rupert Grint
-usher/rip tickets
-Apply to an employment agency and hope they help me
-Be a nanny
Where do I buy a mattress?
What taxes do I pay?
How do I get Internet?
How do I get cable/satellite?
Where do I buy Groceries?
Do I need to set up a bank account over there?
Is the tube open 24 hours a day?
Does somebody want to give me a job?
How do I get my sewing machine over there?
Where can I buy cheep fabric?
Where is a good place to live?
How do I make friends?
Is it true British Boys expect you to put out on the first date?
Will they find my Canadian accent sexy?
Are there sex stores geared towards women?

Man I need to get working on this

I have also been "joking" about marrying for Citizenship..... it's not a joke. If I love it there and am doing well, at the end of my two years I might place an ad on Craigslist and ask for someone to marry me for citizenship. I will pay them, and we won't have to live together. I am excited, but frightened.

So If anybody Knows people over there, help me out ask these questions to them.... especially the job one. PLEASE HELP ME GET A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT WHAT

I am going to Ottawa!

July 10-July 14 th, back in time for Harry potter on the 15th. I am a die hard fan, what can I say.

All By Myself... I love to be... All By Myself.... For A Month.

This Weekend was great.

Only twice did I freak out that someone is in the house.
My dog is cute, but last night she was a pain in the butt, she spent two hours licking her paws. It is loud at 2 am.

My mom trying to Skype is hilarious. Pretty much a repeat of the scene from Forgetting Sarah marshal. We have the cameras on and both laptops have built in micro phones, yet my mom believes I can hear her so she speaks into the speaker which then her head blocks the camera and all i see is grey hair...... Don't tell her I said that.

Lets see what did I do for Two days, and a quarter...

Friday
I made a Delicious snapper papillote.
I watched Election, I only like the end when he throws the milkshake at her car and runs away, and when Tracy flick is jumping b/c she was given a signal she won the campaign..... Otherwise I don't like the movie
I watched 18 Kids and counting....... How can you not kiss before you get married....... Like all josh and Anna did was hold hands and gaze into each others eyes and Say "I love you" ... PUKE
Say yes to the dress. I am going to have the coolest wedding
The office....... I love the Cheese puff throwing..... Man I wish I learnt that at BP
watched about two hours worth of unwrapped while talking to jayden on msn.... He stayed up till about 4 am his time to talk to me....hmmmmmm

Saturday:
Slept in till 10:30..... WHAT What Gangsta!
Watched That's Entertainment....... Man I love Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire
Finished the current season of the office. LOVE LOVE LOVE the last two episodes.
If currently watching Scroll till Next ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ sign. WARNING SPOILERS


Michael and his Cafe Disco. Awesome, PHYLLIS and her back...... Oh i lover her she just falls awesome.
Casual Friday and Meredith. Omg .... "Meredith Why aren't you wearing underpants" " It's casual Friday isn't it" .... ahahahaha....Oh Meredith you whore, I love you.
Pam and Jim were going to elope but had too much fun dancing...awwwwww
ANDY AND KELLY..... Omg .. The dance off is amazing. Kelly doing the flashdance stripper scene with no water. is awesome. I want them to be a couple, they are both so weird but perfect know that i saw that episode. They are both so obsessed with who ever they are dating, it would be perfect. LOVE!!!!!
Also I love the Receptionist, she is soooo funny and awkward but nice....
The volleyball game ...oh Phyllis baby you crack me up "Oh my ankle" "Phyllis You didn't even move" " I tripped".... and she runs out of the game with no limp.... awesome.
Pam is good at volleyball.
I just love seeing dundermifflin scrantin as a team, they really used everyone in this episode....
PAM is preggers!!!!!! OMG . When I saw Jims face I started crying, it was so sappy but I hope I have that kind of relationship some day...lov love love.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Oh that crazy show.
and I watch 4 weddings and a funeral
Billy Elliot
Oh and then Kim came over for dinner, It was lovely. I miss girl talk. Love love love.

Sunday:
Watched
Funny Face
Realized I can sing
Watch What not to wear.
Finished watching Driving Lessons...... Oh I LOVE YOU RUPERT GRINT.
and found that they made a movie of angus, things and full frontal snogging, but i guess they Had to change it to prefect snogging b/c full frontal is to X-rated.........So i will watch that tonight.


HO HUm
Lindsay isn't hear..... Boooo, and neither is Angela.... boo. Maybe she is just late.......

I am offically by myself for a whole month.

This is the greatest thing ever!

This picture sums up my excitement.

well almost. What would be greater is if I had a boyfriend and my parents away so we could....you know ..cook..... I don't know what you people do when your parents left the house but normal couple cook and watch 14A movies, instead of PG...... Yeah that's right I am 21

I have no idea what to do with myself but it is exciting.

Plans for tonight Watch movies, cook dinner, clean the fridge (I am actually excited for this), walk the dog, stay up late, Answer the many phone calls from various people my mother has asked to check on me. WHAT! It's like I AM 14 AND STAYING HOME FOR THE FIRST TIME.

I don't mind hearing from my cousin because I like her, and she's funny, and I enjoy hanging out with her and her husband....but Why does my aunt have to call, why does my mom work colleagues need to......

I plan to do this while shouting My moms in Another Continent, My mom's in another continent.

Angry Sailor

So while walking to fenders for lunch, my right pant leg's hem came undone, and started dragging and catching on the ground. It was really upsetting.

On our way back to the office, Angela said "nice pants"....

About 30 secs of silence....... My reply

"Fuck you" it was the first time I swore at someone at work. And that person had to have been Angela...We are still friends.

GOD.....Is this you giving me a hint towards my dilemma?

Secret love affairs are taking place for some of you. (You're definitely in lust with someone.) Too bad you don't have time to write in a diary because those entries would be hot and steamy! Some other events with authority figures in your life make you feel rebellious and independent. You want to call your own shots. (But hey, what's new? Freedom has always been important to you.) Real assistance and help from others can come to you now (you know about it but it's not obvious to everyone else). Remain flexible about travel, publishing, the media and higher education because all is not as it seems here. Basically, this is a strong, wonderful time for you. Enjoy your week!


WOW THIS PRETTY MUCH MY LIFE..... the first line.
wait and the authority figures...my parents are leaving i will be independent....
and the freedom... does it mean don't make plans for my future just yet...meaning don't start panicking for a job just yet.

Look Ma! I Made Friends...

Dilemma.... Which one would I choose....hmmmmm....

ho-hum

Jena's 21st Birthday Par-Tay! With Pictures!



I brought Champagne and opened it... I had to put the bottle between my legs.




The Early arrival group.















We are awkward.



We don't know anybody.

High School Movie Night Buddies!















I look cute, I admit.

I wish I could blow this up so you can see my two different coloured socks. Purple and hot pink.



Kyle. One of the friends I made. He was upset that I with him for first place in a game of bowling. I was really good until I started sobering up.




Who Knows How to Party? None of these people look like they know how to party!


Kiss Kiss


The Pirate knows how to party!


I thought This was a good pose at the time.
Clearly I was wrong.


I don't remember Taking this picture. Otherwise I might of rethought it. I look like a Zombie or Alex has the power to kill people with just the wave of his hand and the camera took the picture right as life was taken from me and i am about to drop to the floor.




SEXY PHOTO TIME.
Oh man my legs look amazing they are glowing.


Random drunk girl who kept introducing herself to me, but I can't remember her name. She is the one who took advantage of me while i was standing.



And Good looking group shot
















Dilemma......

I will live..

Vicariously through my Sim....

This is my life from this point on....

Gemini (May 21-June 20)
With both the Sun and your ruler Mercury in your sign, you're empowered. (And chatty!) You've got energy to burn. However, something else is going on. It's subliminal, behind the scenes, and possibly at a subconscious level. Something you're doing privately (or on your own) might lead to major changes in the future -- changes for the better. Unknowingly, you might be cultivating a new habit pattern or a new belief system about what you're capable of. Friends from other cultures are supportive. (In fact, new romance could blossom!) Opportunities to travel or explore training, education and new ideas also exist. Expect offers and perks with publishing, the media, medicine and the law. Hey, this is exciting!


ooooooooooo..... A new romance...... What about one that is on hold, and hasn't really started does that count as new? Or is my Red haired Rich British man on his way?

I am hungry. I want lunch.

Parents gone in 10 days. and there is soo much to do.

Grocery shop: at least i will have finished all my cooking classes by that time. So i will be a wiz in the kitchen.
Get the hot tub working: I am going to relax while the nag is out
Sleep with the door open and unlocked: there have been some instenses where a closed door has not kept a certain person out of my personal space.... I don't have to deal with this for one month
Plan my vacation week: june 16-22 what what. Who wants to hang out.
Clean my room: so i can get in and out safetly
Put the closet doors back on: Its been a year.. they need to get back on... but I need a man to help me
Go to the beach: Might go bymyself and read this weekend. Maybe Saturday.

Panic Time

What Day is Harry Potter coming out?

Sources say July 15, and 17th.... Make your mind!

If its on the 15th i need to change the days i booked off. Oh God!

Man I wish I was blonde just for this

So i started singing at work.... and this is my office song of choice....but because I can't remember all the words I make some up or change them to represent me!

Everyday I look across the office floor, there you were, you're hair down to you're legs and you're legs down to the floor.

Leggie blonde, goodbye. Goodbye.

GoodbyeI had a budgie but it died
I like pieeeeee

Leggie leggie leggie leggie Leggie leggie leggie leggie Leggie leggie leggie leggie Leggie leggie leggie leggieBlondie blondie blondie blondie Blondie blondie blondie blondie Blondie blondie blondie blondie Blondie blondie blondie blondie

I'll never get to tear you're clothes off on the photo copier.

Oh leggie blonde you got it goin on wanna see you wearin that thong thong thong, see you get it on till the break of dawn...panties on.

YEAH....OKay....Bye

Birthday Lunch

So lunch was ..... Something.

I loved it

Jonathan, Aman, Melanie, Lindsay and I went out to celebrate muh Burfaday!

We went to Earls

Besides the service being slow and the sick joke of sending a picture of me to the entire office..... not funny I actually teared up.

It was awesome

we made fun of me, which is always good.

I wore a veil/crown thing

And we had dessert....Smores... Lindsay Clearly enjoyed!

Awesome Anniversary for 21 years from the day I was expelled from my mother womb!

So first of Thanks for the birthday wishes
Second: Thanks Kim for the awesome birthday card. I got it yesterday.
Thirdly: Thanks Kim for the awesome E card. I had a good laugh, and so did my mother.

So I wake up to the Rain... This wasn't fantastic but I refused to let it bother me. At least it sisn't sunny while i am stuck inside wishing I took my birthday off. At least I am warm and dry. And I don't have anything to do since the Sims isn't out yet and I have watched all the harry potter movies about 10 times in the last 3 weeks. soo....

I get a ride to skytrain which is nice because I don't have to get wet.

I get a seat on the bus. Which is nice b/c I can read the 7th Harry potter book

I get to work, and my desk is decorated. with a large banner, and pink princess balloons, and confetti. Surprise. And lindsay is happy to see me. I was worried I would get into trouble for these b/c I figured Melanine did it, so I started taking things down, and scooping up all the confetti, with the help of lindsay. well I Thank mel and she actually has no idea what I am talking about....... Turns out my boss is the one who made a beautiful thoughtfull mess of my desk.. so I quickly oput everything back up and re throw confetti everywhere. It was awesome! hahahaha. And I am totally going to carry my balloons on the bus.

The office gave me a card, it was pretty. and inside...A gift certificate to HM. Its like they want me to indulge my shopping addiction.

Julie shaffner gave me a card as well. it was soooooo cute. a little doggie popping out of a box

Next The mail man comes up and i notice a large box. THE MAKEUP I ORDERED SOOOOO LONG AGO. Of course it would arrive on my birthday! It was like a birthday present to myself. awesome! so Lindsay and I went through it.... I am going to be soooo Pretty!

And my face book keeps getting written on, which i haven't checked yet, i am saving that for the end of the day.

Man what A great day so far. and it is only 11:26. And I still have my birthday lunch!

Awkward Moment. My mom crying this morning " I can't believe its been 21 years" After about an hour of this and countless hugs, I don't know what to do. She was following me around the house while I was trying to get ready for work. so i awkwardly patted her on the shouder, and said "Yup" and ran up the stairs......

Best Invention Ever

Vodka coolers frozen Like a freezy....

They were delicous. I can now sit with the neighbourhood kids and eat freezies with them. But the cops will never know. Mine contains Vodka! High Five!

Today is Doghnut day.... and fruit salad day I guess

The taste of my fruit salad has a hint of Mayo.


It is not a BAM.... or a good thing ...

A walk down Memory Lane with Jessica

At lunch, Angela and I were discussing how tall I was and how mini dresses become shirts for me. All of a sudden when we were eating a memory from High school popped into my head. Probably grade 10 or 11.

So take my arm as I lead you down this 80's inspired, Me First and The Gimmie Gimmies background music path to my innocent days.

I was at Kim hanging out with Kim, on a friday night. Nothing new there. We were at her house, probably b/c the week before we had been at my house. I don't think I was sleeping over, but I was there, and Underwear was not being thrown and tic tacks were not being spit at us by her sister.

Remember Angela and I were discussing my height. Well this will strengthen your views of my coolness

Kim and I decided to measure how tall i was and to see if i had longer legs or torso. We took a bet I said torso and she said legs....

So I laid on the ground, she got out a 12 inch plastic ruler, and we measure my height in centimeters.... or at least ruler lengths.....

Yes we actually did this, and we weren't bored.

Turned out my legs are longer. Thank goodness I know.

It sounded good at the time

Even if it was in my head.

So I left a really creepy message on Lindsay's Voicemail....... I meant to give her a compliment, b/c she is stressed......so I said softly in to the phone.

Hey pretty.......... (long pause, and not going to lie probably some breathing)

I am embarassed.

The Curius Case of...

Benjamin's Bottom....... Or so my mom thinks that's what it is called.

Really Mom? Why would people want to spend 3 hours watching a movie about what is up with a man butt.... I certainly am not curious about it.....

What is ..The Curious Case of how ugly Harry Potter is, and how absolutely adorable Ron is........

I am starting to realize my dream of being in Harry Potter is over.....

The curious case of Why Girlfriends suck.... not the TV show... well i am sure that sucked some balls as well..... but in my opinion girlfriends suck....uuuggghhh.. so much efing drama.

Love: Making food
Hate; not having people to eat with

Love: My dog
Hate: Cats...... They scare me

Love: Shopping
Hate: The effect of that love has on my bank account


Love: Rw and Co Laura
Hate:.....lateness

Love: Musicals
HATE: Not having enough confidence to sing

Love: Movies
Hate: not having people to go with

Love: Friends
Hate: those that are rude, selfish, late and lack compassion........ Yeah.... most people

Love: Being around people that want to spend time with you and be your friend
Hate : People who can't make up there mind, and never call..... oh but you are still their "Good Friend" and are "Just like a sister" ... Sucka Punch to the face you twat.

Love: Lindsay.... and our red haired baby
Hate: Mark Pribula......shudder

Love: My Many Many Crushes
Hate: That I will never ever have any sort of relationship/one night romance with them.......

Love: Chocolate Cake
Hate: My homemade Blueberry Muffins

Love: Chocolate Teddy Grams with Betty Crocker Fluffy White Icing.... Not vanilla
Hate: Lamb...... the meat not the animal.

Love: Paris
Hate: Not being there

Love: London
Hate: That I can't afford it.

Love: Birthday surprises........ I have never seen people actually be excited for my birthday before
Hate: That I am trying to figure out the surprise..... I want to be surprised...But I don't ...BUT i DO.

Love: my new Glow
Hate: My sun burnt cheeks

Love: Forever 21 Clothes
Hate: how stupid Purolator and The Shipping department at Forever 21 is....

Love: Being Canadian
Hate: That I don't have a cool french or English accent.

Love: That i am tall........ take that mom
Hate: that I tower over my friends..... especially in heels.

Love: Parmesan cheese
Hate: when you go to open the Shaker and there is honey on the lid........ Why is there honey on the Parmesan cheese lid.

Love: Lindsay's excitement of my purchases
Hate: That she isn't here so I can go through my other box.

I don't think I need to explain.

This Morning while getting ready I was sing Mama who bore me from the Musical Spring Awakening....

My dad was not a fan of this..

"Jessica.... Jess... Can we please keep the showtunes quiet till at least curtain call..."

Curtain call is usually 7:20 or 7:50pm......... He isn't home usually at that time...... FML!

Why I hate transit...

Someone on skytrain farted an egg stinky salad.

I threw up in my mouth a little.

Payback

My mother asked me to take the dog out for a walk this morning.

Me taking the dog for a walk consists of my standing on the driveway watching my dog run around a tree.

So this particular morning I decided to go outside in public wearing my pj's...

let me describe the image.

Sweatband headband (getting ready to wash my face), with an 80's ponytail
A pink top that says "Rolling with my Gnomies" and a very large picture of the travelocity Gnome
Bright Purple Spandex booty shorts
a bright blue short Paul frank Julius Monkey robe.
and bright pink slipper booties with cupcake print and pompom attachments.
Drinking from my Disney Grumpy mug.

I thought I looked quite classy, my mother on the other hand, was having a heart attack as i waved at my neighbours heading off to work.

I have officially embarrassed my mother, payback for the Vix Vapour rub.

Bed time with the TMI Turkey

I have decided that sleeping in ones underwear is not sexy for I am now Sick......

Damnit why do I fail at anything sexy?

I flashed the auto boys.....

They liked it..... I was running after the mailman, after he left....a gust of wind lifted my dress......


This is not the first time the range rover boys have gotten to see my underwear....




and honestly it probably won't be the last.

My mother came into the bathroom while i was showering...... no reason.

Sunday Morning..

My mother heard me coughing in my sleep, and was worried.....


I woke up to my mother rubbing Vix Vapour rub on my back.......

Something New.......

.......is very exciting!



I felt pressured to try something other than my regular Grilled cheese at our local fenders restaurant.



See how Excited I was for the Beef Dip!

I am going back to Grilled Cheese....But thanks for being there and for witnessing it.

Also I think I should have had diet pop......The sugar made me angry not actually angry..;ets just say it makes me aggressive....at one point I think SOME people were purposely trying to stop me from telling my story, which is a bad idea when I am excited to tell something....if i get cut off there is only so much I can take. Well at one point I whisper yelled ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... People found it funny..... I probably would have thrown a knife...

and Angela and Mel discussed labour........

I don't need to elaborate how disgusting it was......

All I can say is I was trying to hide in My shirt and I started thrashing and squirming in my chair.

Thanks to Lindsay....

I need to marry rich!

This is not an awkward post but a "I need to let it out before I actually buy it" post.....Dedicated to Lindsay, Administrative Assistant to the Regional Vice President.

Hermes Petite Kelly = a serious Relationship (With the bag....maybe not the man that will purchase it) (I would rather buy it for myself...than have a man buy it for me)

I am drooling, is that awkward.

Hermes Kelly Bag = True love

Is it strange that I would rather spent A night snuggling this than he.......and I would defiantly treat this better.....

hmmmm true love with a man or true love with a Kelly?

Thanks Lindsay!

You have officially turned me towards designer..... Thanks... There goes my savings........ At least I can cuddle my Kelly and you can cuddle your Marc Jacobs when we are homeless