Everyone is probably wondering
" What did Jess's mom say when she got home?"
Well I guess she forgot, is the answer. I got into more trouble for drinking all the milk, and eating pepperoni for dinner than hiding incriminating evidence in my sock drawer and under my bed.
So somethings to mention about yesterday....
The suppose to be Awesome Lunch at Fun Fenders with Melanie and Jonathan........
usually I am the one who runs a lunch with my awkwardness and faces and lack of judgement, But I would like to point out that Melanie and Jonathan did in fact ruin this lunch and took everything to FAR...
EXHIBIT 1) Chestay- To fully understand how awkward this was you must have been there...and also at the other times Melanie has drawn attention to my chest. And the last two times has been in front of Jonathan.... Awkward but funny.... At I Love You, Man I manage to artfully spill the contents of my pop down my shirt, and gracefully managed to wipe it up. Then to add to the whole mix I dropped a few pop corn down there.... then Melanie decided to shove a handful of licorice down my shirt to make it a combo......she succeeded.... all with Jonathan pretending he didn't know us....so back to lunch some how Jonathan and Melanie started calling me chest-Tay.......... and recently b/c of Mel's comments about my low shirts.. I get little worried about these things at work......so pretty much I will only wear turtle necks from now on.
(Mel I find it funny, so stop worrying...now)
2) Jonathan decided to join forces with my mom and comment about my height. ..... Look who is talking space giant..... He is probably happy with me calling him a space giant....
3)Melanie says out loud about me " OH your sooooo soft"............she was rubbing my back
4)Melanie very aggressively shouts out that Jonathan must be rubbing our thighs with his foot.............. Please under stand that Melanie has issues and we are doing our best to correct them in a timely manner.
so that is all I can remember about that......
but I feel There are two more situations I need to address.
1) Dance. Well I wasn't feeling dancey today, but I knew I had to go. I wasn't in the mood to be told that I take too giant of steps, and that I am too theatrical, and that my " love yourself" doesn't look like "I love myself". Okay I forgot to love myself, so I FAKED IT....Okay..Happy?
Anyways. We were learning styling and what to do during a break in the music. So we were "going for a walk" which for most people is the easiest move. Stay in one spot and walk right left right.....well I can't do this!...you are suppose to use your hips...and for the first time in my life I felt like I didn't have hips...I couldn't wiggle them. I officially failed the going for a walk...so to at least look like I was doing it. I started doing what is now being referred to in my swing dance class as the funky chicken... I wobble my head back and forth with out making any facial expressions while my partner goes for a walk.... Heck yes I am improving West Coast Swing!
2) This morning I was rushing to my bus stop, minding my own business, when I am poked...Yes a two Finger Aggressive poke, Right at the top of my boob...where is can hurt...well who the 'F' does that. I look and it is That Guy. You know the one I am avoiding from dance....THAT GUY POKED ME IN MY UPPER CHEST-TAY. OW....... and even when I am on the bus I was like "Why does my upper boob hurt...oh yeah I was shanked by a West coast swinger!"
That all I got folks.
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