Today I hung out with my Mom's coworkers. They are all over 50 but have known me since the day I was born.
We discussed London, my Mom, My friends.
We had a very strange chat with many sexual innuendos comparing handshakes and this certain man weak one...... I would never have this convo with my mom.
They were also very interested about my love life. and gave me much advice. I Love middle aged women
And one of those women married her high school sweetheart...... Kim... that could be you... sort of.......
I told them I wanted a Russian revolution themed wedding. They didn't get it. Oh well...
Friday, August 28, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Pez Talk
Melanie brought me a Snow White Pez. I am currently eating the pez. I love Pez Candy!
During our discussion I think I completely ruined my innocent image. Oh well.
During our discussion I think I completely ruined my innocent image. Oh well.
Thats what she said...
Today while waiting for my bus, I ran into a friend we talked for a bit and then my bus came and I needed to catch it, but I lost my train of thought have way through excusing myself and I made things awkward
*Please excuse my attempt at English, it was 6:30 in the morning. What i meant to say was I need to head off to catch my bus...... I said
"Well, I better be getting head.... " (I forgot to add the 'ing' to head)
I will never forget the look he gave me after I said this.... It is embedded in my mind.
Plans for my week
Monday: Live through it
Tuesday Start House sitting. Goal: Do not kill the cat
Wednesday: Do not let the cat escape
Thursday:Pedi....cures..not files.
Friday: Rehearsal mOTHER f-ERS
Saturday: Tea? Possibly? 90's party. Still debating whether I should dress up. I really just want to wear my green body suit, but that for some reason doesn't scream 90's. The only other option is Spice Girl.... but I have a feeling if I go in that direction I might flash guests by mistake.
Sunday: No f-ing clue
Monday: Breakfast and Swimming. Even if it is freezing, I am jumping in that ocean. I didn't get in enough swimming time this year.
A conversation from Lindsay and I
From: Lindsay Sent: August 17, 2009 10:23 AMTo: Jessica Subject: tomorrow
Hey,
Is there anyway that you would swift shifts tomorrow? I have a doctors appointment at 9 in ladner.
From: Jessica Sent: August 17, 2009 10:24 AMTo: Lindsay Subject: RE: tomorrow
No Problem Mo FO
From: Lindsay
Thanks gangster
From Jessica
NO Prob L-Thug
We are the coolest Gangsters this side of the river. and dare I say both sides.
*Please excuse my attempt at English, it was 6:30 in the morning. What i meant to say was I need to head off to catch my bus...... I said
"Well, I better be getting head.... " (I forgot to add the 'ing' to head)
I will never forget the look he gave me after I said this.... It is embedded in my mind.
Plans for my week
Monday: Live through it
Tuesday Start House sitting. Goal: Do not kill the cat
Wednesday: Do not let the cat escape
Thursday:Pedi....cures..not files.
Friday: Rehearsal mOTHER f-ERS
Saturday: Tea? Possibly? 90's party. Still debating whether I should dress up. I really just want to wear my green body suit, but that for some reason doesn't scream 90's. The only other option is Spice Girl.... but I have a feeling if I go in that direction I might flash guests by mistake.
Sunday: No f-ing clue
Monday: Breakfast and Swimming. Even if it is freezing, I am jumping in that ocean. I didn't get in enough swimming time this year.
A conversation from Lindsay and I
From: Lindsay Sent: August 17, 2009 10:23 AMTo: Jessica Subject: tomorrow
Hey,
Is there anyway that you would swift shifts tomorrow? I have a doctors appointment at 9 in ladner.
From: Jessica Sent: August 17, 2009 10:24 AMTo: Lindsay Subject: RE: tomorrow
No Problem Mo FO
From: Lindsay
Thanks gangster
From Jessica
NO Prob L-Thug
We are the coolest Gangsters this side of the river. and dare I say both sides.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
I Will Dominate
I love Risk.
I have never lost a game. I love risk so much I once hit someone really really hard when they attacked me. But I still won.
I played last night and almost got decimated... but then in one turn i wiped out all the competition.
Why am I so talented at Risk?
I think it might be that I actually believe if I don't win, I will be sold as a slave, be forced to become a gladiator, or be forced into prostitution. I realize that this won't happen, but when that dice rolls, I start sweating, and I become a slightly taller version of Napoleon Bonaparte.
I also want to try this:
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Potem Toles, Puma's and Bears with Lasers. Oh My!
I am a busy girl. Every night this week I have or have had something going on. So yesterday was suppose to be my go to bed early night. Oh no.
A friend calls and tells me " tonight there are to be many shooting star, we are going to go star gazing"
To me the idea of lying under the stars under blankets freezing with friends, is a no brainer. I stayed out till 12:30. good fun. I realized though with my lack of sleep, my speech has suffered thus the running joke of them "potem toles". I meant totem poles, guys.
While Jena was taking pictures, Matt and I huddled for warmth, until I swear the bush by use moved, we both backed away and left Jena to defend us.
With the original movie night group having only three original members remaining in Canada, I got to thinking which Harry Potter Characters would we be.....
Jena is Harry Potter, for she is much braver than Matt and I could ever be...combined...
Matt is Hermione, for he is a smarty pants and likes to correct my words. ex. Potem toles
Me, I am Ron, fine by me. I think b/c I am stubborn. It just fits.
I enjoy singing with Lindsay.
We sand "Whats New Pussy Cat" Many a time together today. I will now shed a tear. Not really. But I will in my head
A friend calls and tells me " tonight there are to be many shooting star, we are going to go star gazing"
To me the idea of lying under the stars under blankets freezing with friends, is a no brainer. I stayed out till 12:30. good fun. I realized though with my lack of sleep, my speech has suffered thus the running joke of them "potem toles". I meant totem poles, guys.
While Jena was taking pictures, Matt and I huddled for warmth, until I swear the bush by use moved, we both backed away and left Jena to defend us.
With the original movie night group having only three original members remaining in Canada, I got to thinking which Harry Potter Characters would we be.....
Jena is Harry Potter, for she is much braver than Matt and I could ever be...combined...
Matt is Hermione, for he is a smarty pants and likes to correct my words. ex. Potem toles
Me, I am Ron, fine by me. I think b/c I am stubborn. It just fits.
I enjoy singing with Lindsay.
We sand "Whats New Pussy Cat" Many a time together today. I will now shed a tear. Not really. But I will in my head
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
I would make a fierce ninja
So I needed to make Lindsay laugh.
I go to do a ninja chop from far away.
I guess i but a little to much energy into it, and pop crack...
a numb feeling. I think I threw my shoulder out. Lindsay had a good laugh.
I go to do a ninja chop from far away.
I guess i but a little to much energy into it, and pop crack...
a numb feeling. I think I threw my shoulder out. Lindsay had a good laugh.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Cold Showers bring..I would rather stay dirty for a week.
Last night I decided I wanted to die my hair a shade or two darker for head shots. While waiting the specified time for the hair dye, I went downstairs to grab some left overs.........
I hear this hiss, and rushing water sound... Our hot water tank was leaking and our basement was soaked...
So we had take out the hot water tank and empty it...
all while the dye is still in my hair. Oh Crap! I need to get it out.... But we had to turn off all the water due to my dad busting a pipe when he was removing the hot water tank....
so what do I do.
Not wanting to get hair dye in any of my neighbours houses, I decided to use the house at the side of the house to wash my hair. Worst experience ever! Neighbours walked by and saw this and laughed. BUT I HAD TO GET THE HAIR DYE OUT. I ended up soaking my back in freezing cold water do to the weird angle I had to hold my body at to wash said hair. Oh the pains of being female.
I hear this hiss, and rushing water sound... Our hot water tank was leaking and our basement was soaked...
So we had take out the hot water tank and empty it...
all while the dye is still in my hair. Oh Crap! I need to get it out.... But we had to turn off all the water due to my dad busting a pipe when he was removing the hot water tank....
so what do I do.
Not wanting to get hair dye in any of my neighbours houses, I decided to use the house at the side of the house to wash my hair. Worst experience ever! Neighbours walked by and saw this and laughed. BUT I HAD TO GET THE HAIR DYE OUT. I ended up soaking my back in freezing cold water do to the weird angle I had to hold my body at to wash said hair. Oh the pains of being female.
Oh,I have nothing on..but the radio!
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
The planet Mars (the Roman God of war) is associated with aggressive action, competitiveness, strong energy and physical activity. It's also highly sexual. Va, va, va, voom! When it's in your sign, it increases your confidence and makes you much more of a fighter for your rights than usual. It gives you lots of physical energy, and turns you on! ("Why don't you come over some time when I've got nothing on but the radio.") You can work long hard hours and accomplish a lot. Basically it's very positive. Nevertheless, too much of a good thing (can be wonderful according to Mae West) can make you aggressive or threatening in the eyes of others, especially authority figures. Just be aware of this. "Down Chita! Down!"
Cancer (June 21-July 22
Nice!!!!!!!!
The planet Mars (the Roman God of war) is associated with aggressive action, competitiveness, strong energy and physical activity. It's also highly sexual. Va, va, va, voom! When it's in your sign, it increases your confidence and makes you much more of a fighter for your rights than usual. It gives you lots of physical energy, and turns you on! ("Why don't you come over some time when I've got nothing on but the radio.") You can work long hard hours and accomplish a lot. Basically it's very positive. Nevertheless, too much of a good thing (can be wonderful according to Mae West) can make you aggressive or threatening in the eyes of others, especially authority figures. Just be aware of this. "Down Chita! Down!"
Cancer (June 21-July 22
Nice!!!!!!!!
Friday, August 7, 2009
Who send emails like this?
My mom does
it was a question she could not work out with my father so she emailed me.
Do you want your Father or me to pick you up tonight? (thats all that was in the email)
....
.......
..
I don't give a fuck.
it was a question she could not work out with my father so she emailed me.
Do you want your Father or me to pick you up tonight? (thats all that was in the email)
....
.......
..
I don't give a fuck.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Self Esteem down 500 points
I went to Robyn's for dinner and a movie tonight.
After Dinner her dad said I had Chicken Legs............
Is there anything less sexy than Chicken Legs?
After Dinner her dad said I had Chicken Legs............
Is there anything less sexy than Chicken Legs?
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Maybe your Mom can call my Mom, and set up a date?
Two boys came in again selling chocolate almonds. Last time they came I sent an email around and people bought chocolate, I also gave them mints and Drinks while they waited.
So if I was still 12 and being forced during my summer vacation to be a good person, I would hit up Boston Pizza, and look for me.
Well this time no one bought anything. Sorry Boyz!
I offered them some mints and gave them two Iced Teas
As the elevator doors were closing, One of the boys sticks his head around and yells
" My friend has a crush on you. He looooovess you"
and the other boy
" Shut up, you aren't suppose to tell her"
I am glad to see I make 12 year old boys hearts go pitter patter.
Sitting on a Roof at SFU, Drinking Tea
I have decided that I want to give my future children really strange names, so that I can get enjoyment out of it. So far I have chosen one name that can be either for a boy or girl.
Rocket Grint.
Please notice that last name attached, Better start working on getting into Hollywood soon, if I want my children to have that last name.
Laura thought this was a bad idea if I have a girl. I see her point....
But if I have a boy I can sing Rocket Man to him........I like that.
Laura and I tried seducing everyone on Burnaby Mountain with our flexibility, and we worked on my seduction skills. Tres Magic!
I had the urge to roll down the hill....... I couldn't stop.Once out of log positions i kept tumbling my feet went over my head and my limbs were going in every direction.
Laura Attempted Handstands, and then we decided to write smutty romance/porn. I see a hit on our hands.........
An Awkward Moment
I have a horrible time deciphering when a guy is into me, everything goes over my head. So While buying our tea, there were these two guys looking at us and smiling. Not sure if Laura noticed, but I figure since they kept looking at us, they knew Laura....... then I made eye contact and one the guys winked.... I have this weird thing with winking, I find it creepy! It takes me a moment to realize its a wink, I usually think the person has something in their eye or they have a twitch..... Winking is not a cute thing to me. I prefer looks and eye contacts and smiles giving across the room...... Not winks... I feel dirty after winks.... Like I need to go pray to Blanket to take away my sins (Shout out to Laura)
That's it really........
Rocket Grint.
Please notice that last name attached, Better start working on getting into Hollywood soon, if I want my children to have that last name.
Laura thought this was a bad idea if I have a girl. I see her point....
But if I have a boy I can sing Rocket Man to him........I like that.
Laura and I tried seducing everyone on Burnaby Mountain with our flexibility, and we worked on my seduction skills. Tres Magic!
I had the urge to roll down the hill....... I couldn't stop.Once out of log positions i kept tumbling my feet went over my head and my limbs were going in every direction.
Laura Attempted Handstands, and then we decided to write smutty romance/porn. I see a hit on our hands.........
An Awkward Moment
I have a horrible time deciphering when a guy is into me, everything goes over my head. So While buying our tea, there were these two guys looking at us and smiling. Not sure if Laura noticed, but I figure since they kept looking at us, they knew Laura....... then I made eye contact and one the guys winked.... I have this weird thing with winking, I find it creepy! It takes me a moment to realize its a wink, I usually think the person has something in their eye or they have a twitch..... Winking is not a cute thing to me. I prefer looks and eye contacts and smiles giving across the room...... Not winks... I feel dirty after winks.... Like I need to go pray to Blanket to take away my sins (Shout out to Laura)
That's it really........
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
A Greeting
I greeted someone with The Doorknob.
The Doorknob:
When the other person goes for a fist bump, you grab their bump, in you hand and turn the fist like a door knob. A formal greeting.
The Doorknob:
When the other person goes for a fist bump, you grab their bump, in you hand and turn the fist like a door knob. A formal greeting.
A Mass of Awesome
So Many Awesomeness took place this weekend that I can't remember all the details. So I am asking the people involved to help me patch together the highlights.
Monday was great!!!! Kim came over and after deciding she should wear The Betsy to Zack's Sisters Wedding, we organized my books. I ask that if ever coming to visit me, stop by my house and bring me some books, I will inform the parents. Once that was accomplished, I realized my anxiety about London and finding a place to live, Kim decided we needed to start drinking. At 2pm. On Canada. Isn't great that we can buy a bottle of cheap wine and a box of Popsicles without judgement. I Love You Canada. We ate some Popsicles on the way back home. The Hill Killed us..... We were panting by the end of it.
Ate some more Popsicles, and finished our bottle of wine before dinner....hmmmm. slightly problematic. We raided my dads liquor cabinet looking for Gin to make the ever classy Gin and Tonic. Feeling tipsy we decided a trek to the Corner Store to by Tonic was a great idea. You know what? They don't sell tonic! So we improvised with Ginger Ale. So we sipped our G and G's, and discussed anything and Everything. I like Kim, she is swell. Shout out to Kim!
Manly discussed our futures.
The "fake" kidnapping Bachelorette party my angry pregnancy's
my monster children my mom
my dad Kim's sister
moving out Jobs
My ideas on marriage and children that will crush my mother
Traveling Going to Paris
True Loves My guy ADD
My strange I start out in love and then my feelings fade as the other person's grow...... It's horrible.
Its all good.
My mom skyped me last night at 11:30 b/c she wanted to say night! I was asleep and was awoken by my dads computer. I was a grumpy pants and hung up.
me: (softly and confused) Hello?
Mom: HHHHHiiiiiii Jeeesss, It's mom
Me: Wha..what..Its ..I was sleeping
Dad: She wanted to say goodnight... (to my mom) Marilyn I told you she would be in bed
Mom: Jess/.....JESSS. Can you hear me?
Me: I was sleeping
Mom: I wanted to say...
I hung up. I am a grumpy pants when I deal with my mother. I will miss her..........maybe after three months. But then I have her for Christmas, and she is going to be clingier than saran wrap....and everyone knows how I handle cling.
Monday was great!!!! Kim came over and after deciding she should wear The Betsy to Zack's Sisters Wedding, we organized my books. I ask that if ever coming to visit me, stop by my house and bring me some books, I will inform the parents. Once that was accomplished, I realized my anxiety about London and finding a place to live, Kim decided we needed to start drinking. At 2pm. On Canada. Isn't great that we can buy a bottle of cheap wine and a box of Popsicles without judgement. I Love You Canada. We ate some Popsicles on the way back home. The Hill Killed us..... We were panting by the end of it.
Ate some more Popsicles, and finished our bottle of wine before dinner....hmmmm. slightly problematic. We raided my dads liquor cabinet looking for Gin to make the ever classy Gin and Tonic. Feeling tipsy we decided a trek to the Corner Store to by Tonic was a great idea. You know what? They don't sell tonic! So we improvised with Ginger Ale. So we sipped our G and G's, and discussed anything and Everything. I like Kim, she is swell. Shout out to Kim!
Manly discussed our futures.
The "fake" kidnapping Bachelorette party my angry pregnancy's
my monster children my mom
my dad Kim's sister
moving out Jobs
My ideas on marriage and children that will crush my mother
Traveling Going to Paris
True Loves My guy ADD
My strange I start out in love and then my feelings fade as the other person's grow...... It's horrible.
Its all good.
My mom skyped me last night at 11:30 b/c she wanted to say night! I was asleep and was awoken by my dads computer. I was a grumpy pants and hung up.
me: (softly and confused) Hello?
Mom: HHHHHiiiiiii Jeeesss, It's mom
Me: Wha..what..Its ..I was sleeping
Dad: She wanted to say goodnight... (to my mom) Marilyn I told you she would be in bed
Mom: Jess/.....JESSS. Can you hear me?
Me: I was sleeping
Mom: I wanted to say...
I hung up. I am a grumpy pants when I deal with my mother. I will miss her..........maybe after three months. But then I have her for Christmas, and she is going to be clingier than saran wrap....and everyone knows how I handle cling.
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