Yeah, I am Eating Olives for Breakfast. Jealous?

Panic is setting in. This is the first time in my life that I can remember not having a plan. I thrive from having a Schedule. I need it to feel secure and without it I feel like a failure.

I am starting to panic about my life choices, which is resulting in crazy shoulder and neck tension. I feel I have made big mistakes, yet I don't want to settle. I worry about things that I shouldn't. I should be enjoying my youth and should be carefree, instead I get stomach pains from worry, and head aches from over thinking.

Do I risk a friendship? or Two?

I want to look into the future, see whom and what is my future, and then let go of all my worries and live live knowing that everything is going to be okay.

I had a great talk with Fiona yesterday before sitting in on the Lovestruck Rehearsals. I told her my insecurities with my Monday classes, and that I think I need to do something about my anxiety and panic attacks. Schedules, and regularity is good for us because when you come from a family that is unstable, you crave this security. which is why I look forward to regular play practice, and weekly set hangouts.

Last night on my way home from the LoveStruck auditions, I heard these two people using a horrible fake British accent. The guy was alright, but the girl...... oh my god. Horrible. She was standard 1880's British then some Australian, oh did I just hear a pinch of New Zealand. oh.... was that suppose to be cockney. AND PEOPLE FELL FOR IT. So many people kept asking these young kids (I am now legal to the whole world, so I consider anyone younger, a kid) where they were from. They said London, and they are here for theatre school. I burst out laughing. Everyone on the platform looked at me. So this continued on my way home. I couldn't stop laughing, at one point the accents got so bad I laughed and choke on my own saliva. Had a coughing fit. Embarrassing, but not as embarrassed as I was going to make those two kids.

I texted a friend and told him to call me and I was going to do an accent and just go along with it. So the moment I picked up my phone, I put on a good British accent. Faint, and not over emphasized. The look on those kids faces was priceless. I smiled at them, and they refuse to speak for the rest of the ride. On my way out, I turned and smiled sweetly and right before walking of onto the platform I said

"Nice try" in my accent

Oh there faces and the faces on the stranger on the train. AHHH so good. Man I am a bitch. but it was so much fun.

And yes I realize I am no better than them, but if you are going to pretend to be British or from somewhere else. LEARN THE PROPER ACCENT.